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Denver and the Dems

August 25, 2008 by richardmyers

(Some scattered observations on the ridiculous)

Since we've known the Dems were coming, Denverites have noticed some dramatic changes in the Mile-High City. Not every development has been praiseworthy; for example, in the very city that declares small amounts of cannibis a low priority for law enforcement, we've experienced the embarrassment of a City Council obsessed with illegal possession-- of urine and feces. Elected officials blame their bathroom ordinance on protesters, whom they accuse of harboring nefarious and disgusting plans. But as far as we can tell, the Council's potty preoccupation has been a preemptive pipe dream that should have been flushed at conception.

There have been other ridiculous rules. Even as we've been relentlessly buzzed by military helicopters, and overflown by fighter jets, we don't dare fly our radio-controlled model airplanes within 30 miles of the Pepsi Center. I'm thinking what it might be like to get caught and having to do the hard time: "Whatcha in for kid?" "Felonious possession of a paper airplane..."

All the high-level discussions about stun guns and Mark IV pepperball launchers have been delivered with assurances that Denver will not look like a police state. What a relief; good to know we've only imagined our kids had a new favorite pastime, guessing which machine-gun toting, riot-gear clad ninja turtles are Homeland Security flunkees, and which ones might be Blackwater.

Speaking of which, what are all those "hidden assets" they keep telling us about? Are they keeping Karl Rove in reserve?

Meanwhile there has been Orwellian talk of "counter-snipers" on the government payroll. Raises the question: to have a counter-sniper, don't you first have to have a sniper? Pretty soon we'll no longer have the U.S. Marines, we'll only have the Counter-Marines. See how the frame of reference changes? Suddenly its always the other guy's fault, no matter who starts the ruckus.

We've noticed cameras on most every street in the downtown area. Surely they're just making videos for traffic congestion studies. We can take heart from the great job Denver has done in destroying all existing copies of their spy file databases, right? Hey everyone, no need to worry about privacy, Denver is just experimenting with Google-Earth in real time!

And all those videos of everyone's license plates could be quite helpful-- the spouse can call the local PD to discover where you're stuck in traffic.

With the DNC in full swing, traffic gridlock once noticed at rush hour can now be enjoyed at all hours... Those of us unfortunate enough to rely upon automobiles are a bit jealous when bicycles glide past. Yet bicyclists aren't so lucky; their bike locks and key-chain carabiners have been outlawed due to well-known terroristic potentialities. Better a stolen bike or lost keys than a cop subjected to that most awful of predicaments, confronting a potential arrestee who puts on her own handcuffs!

But wait-- we Denverites have read in our newspapers that bicycles themselves are possible protest weapons, with the nefarious battlefield capability of blocking walkways. Don't buy that trike for junior, you'll turn him into a sidewalk terrorist!

Cops have been warned that anyone in possession of nails, self-tapping screws, tiki lamps, or wooden-handled protest signs is likely a violent protester. As one of our friends observes, your local hardware store is a criminal conspiracy.

Meanwhile the Dems have passed their own rules. Apparently verboten contraband disallowed in the audience at Obama's acceptance speech includes cowbells, frisbees, and shoes with wheels. There is talk of kazoos, so they may be banned as well. Do you think the Dems are practicing for when they take over?

Meanwhile any major convention brings out the supreme effort of folks who desire delegate dollars. On Friday a convertible pulled into traffic ahead of me, and it was difficult not to notice the g-string adorned young woman mooning the following traffic as her partner tossed strip club passes into open windows. (I didn't get one, so don't ask me which club...)

Ahhh, but the character of Denver's main drag, Colfax Avenue itself hasn't changed much; Colfax has always been the one street in Denver that never sleeps. In some circles it is declared "the longest commercial street in the U.S.A.", and you can find most anything on Colfax. The thoroughfare even has its own website: http://www.colfaxavenue.com/

Well, there is one difference overlooking the strip. Amnesty International chose the large size when they opted for a billboard to get the message out to any delegates who might chance to pass Colfax and Gilpin. It is great (and to be honest, a little surreal) to see such a high-visibility commitment to a progressive cause, right in the heart of the city.

I think Denver ought to adopt that sign, and forget the next convention.

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** satans warriors in our u.s.congress are playing the devils advocate with 45 million poorer americans health & well being **
~ sadly certain american military supporters in our u.s. congress have now been bought out to abandon the health & welfare of poorer military parents and siblings of our active duty world~wide enlisted soldiers….
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president obama ~ the american people and our active duty u.s. military families from poor families back home deserve to be enlightened and informed about the specific family names of all these national & international behind the scene billionaire health*care insurance companies(majority shareholder investors) who are attempting to control their future profits over the horror of knowing that 45,000 poorer americans dying every year due to the lack of proper health*care…
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** our brave american active duty u.s. military around the world who are risking and losing their lives for all of usa also have poorer parents and siblings back home who are dying without health*care**
*president obama ~ please make a special point of assuring our american military world-wide that you will fight for their loved ones health*care back home also!!!

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